


limited.

by geoffs_band



Category: Waterparks (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-07
Updated: 2018-03-07
Packaged: 2019-03-28 05:25:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,030
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13897206
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/geoffs_band/pseuds/geoffs_band
Summary: Geoff isn't quite ready to be public about being bisexual, but his friends understand. Awsten understands a lot, maybe.





	limited.

**Author's Note:**

> can be read however u want tho i did write it specifically & yes the song at the end is important

“Yo, I'm a twink,” Awsten announced.

Geoff blinked. Otto glanced up from the magazine he was reading, seemed to consider for half a second, then nodded thoughtfully and resumed reading. “Uh, okay?” Geoff said.

“I'm not deciding this,” Awsten clarified. “The duty has been thrust upon me. Heh.”

“Who's deciding that?”

“ _Bunch_ of people.” He made a tsk! sound. “You make _one_ really long series of Tweets about Brendon Urie and you get _labeled_. Well, thanks. Now I know what the limit is. It's one.”

“Series,” Geoff pointed out.

“One,” Awsten confirmed.

“You do other shit too,” Otto said.

Awsten snorted. “I know.”

“And.. you can put a stop to it any time you want,” Geoff said.

“Nah, they'll never stop.” He shrugged. “Whatev. It's not like I care.”

“Yeah, but... if you want, like. If I go ahead and say it's _me_ , that'll divert some attention away from—“

“What are you talking about?” Otto looked up, incredulous. “Don't take any attention _away_ from him, he might start something on fire!”

“I really might,” Awsten agreed. “But no, dude, that's fine. I'm _fine_ with it. They can think what they want.” He smirked a little. “Dude, it's _so_ funny. You should see— hang on, lemme find what Travis sent me yesterday.” He pulled out his phone and began searching through his messages.

Geoff wasn't quite ready to just let it drop this time, though. “I mean it,” he said. “I'll just— it's not fair to you that people are always accusing you of—“

“Nope!” Awsten pointed at him threateningly and Geoff shut up, raising his eyebrows. “ _That's_ the fucking problem, you know? _Accusing_. Like— like if I _was_ bi or gay it would be such a horrible fuckin thing. Jesus, just straight-up _fucking_ kill me if I ever act like that.” He rolled his eyes in disgust, then resumed scrolling on his phone.

“It wouldn't be a bad thing,” Geoff said. _For a lot of reasons_ , he didn't say. “But you're not.”

“Unfair,” Awsten sang softly, then he snorted. “Y'know how they say, like, you can't choose? If I could choose, I _would_ choose to be bi.”

“Why?” Otto asked, laughing a little. “More... options?”

“Yeah, dude! _Why_ the fuck not. Y'know how tight my dating pool would be then? Everybody _so_ pretty... Aha! Here.” He smirked and leaned over, holding his phone out. “This _is_ terrifying, I will admit.”

“Thanks for sharing,” Geoff said, wincing a little in anticipation— they never knew from what depths of internet hell Awsten could delve and what insane trash nuggets he would find. Geoff stared at the screen for a few seconds, regretted the non-existence of bleach for his brain, and handed it back. “I hate you,” he said. “You said 'funny'.” It wasn't funny.

“It is a little funny. And _I_ didn't write it! Jesus Christ, though.” He closed out of the app he'd been in and went back to Twitter, swiping down to refresh.

Geoff tried to imagine if that post had been made about him. There probably were posts like that about him, only the ones about Awsten were more frequent (and more.. severe?) due to his much louder personality and appearance. And that he deliberately played up to it— he had reasons, and they weren't shitty ones. Even if (most times) he truly didn't mind it, Geoff hated that he had to (or thought he did).

He decided to put it out there again, because he really was getting closer. Maybe it was just going to take that last leap or push or whatever. “Any time you want, like, a break from it,” he said. “Just... I can say it's me, I'm the one that's bi, you're actually straight. They'll back off of you and bother me for a while. I can probably handle it.”

“Disagree,” Awsten said at once. “For one, they'll never stop saying it about me no matter what you do. You have no idea what I see.”

“ _You're_ the one going looking for that shit. I would just save my sanity and _not_ fuck with—“ He gestured to Awsten's phone. “Whatever the fuck that was?”

“Tumblr.” Awsten smirked. “It's _so_ funny.” Then his face became serious again. “Don't go there.”

“I won't, that's my point—“

“But even this shit—“ Awsten held up his phone and twiddled it a bit “—is nothing. There's the real people aspect. Dude,” he held up a hand when Geoff went to speak. “You haven't even told your parents,” he went on gently. “I just kinda don't think... you're ready to really talk about it and, like... live it?”

Geoff wondered if he should be irritated at that— his straight friend telling him what he felt about his own partial-gayness. If he should, it probably shouldn't matter, because he was probably right.

“Which is _fine_ ,” Awsten went on. “You _don't_ have to be. Not before you're actually ready to be totally cool with it. Otherwise, like.” He started to grin. “That would suck.” His grin widened as he raised a hand to point at Geoff with a finger gun. “And not in the good way!”

Geoff snorted and rolled his eyes, starting to smile a little as he looked away. It was quiet for a moment, Awsten continuing to play with his phone and Otto back to his magazine. Geoff still didn't feel good about it.

“I'm getting there,” he offered suddenly. “I go back and forth.”

“Ayyyy,” Awsten said softly, and Geoff rolled his eyes again.

“Maybe what I mean is, like... I'm not okay with not being ready.” That was hard to say, too, and he couldn't bring himself to look up from the carpet. Awsten and Otto were two of the very few that knew he was bi, and although he knew that they would listen if he ever wanted to talk about it, that didn't make it easier to actually do it, not really. “Does that even make sense?”

“Mmhm,” Awsten said encouragingly.

“Yeah, I guess,” Otto said. He tossed the magazine down and picked up the Switch controller instead. “People suck.” He paused. “And not in the good way.”

Geoff smiled a little. “Both of you are... so funny.” They tried. They were his friends and they tried.

Awsten especially. “Besides, I _like_ fucking with the fucking stereotypes,” he said smugly. “ _I_ can be a straight dude with purple hair and like dance music and write sick love songs with my synth. I can, like, be feminine, and I can like loving my friends and being affectionate and _even_ playing it up. Doesn't make me any less straight when it comes to who I'm attracted to and want to sleep with. Therefore, it's fucking _stupid_ to only associate, like, that kind of shit with someone who is gay. Once that's normalized, more guys that are gay— or bi— can eventually stop feeling like shit and thinking they're going to get _accused_ by some fucking _bro_ of being a pussy or what the fuck ever just because he likes _dick_.”

“Oh, cool,” Jawn said from the doorway. “That's so great that you're, like, so accepting of yourself and so happy.”

Awsten snorted hard and covered his mouth with his hand. “Ecstatic,” he agreed.

Okay, so. Here was one. Geoff hadn't told Jawn yet. He could do that now. “It's actually me,” he said, trying to get the words out before he changed his mind. Jawn looked at him, amused, and he realized that— of course— he just naturally assumed they were all joking. There was one aspect of— as Awsten put it— 'playing it up' that backfired (like, when he'd told Awsten and had to convince him that he was serious). “Not kidding,” he said. “I'm— I, uh, am actually bi. I just— I haven't told. Y'know, hardly anyone...”

There was a pause, in which Otto didn't react but kept playing the game and Awsten only looked up, interested, and that seemed to be what convinced Jawn. “ _Oh_ ,” he said. “Oh, okay. Cool.” He nodded and then glanced at Awsten. “Really not you, then, huh?”

Awsten threw his arms up in the air. “Fuck you! Why does _everybody_ say that!”

“The way you talk,” Otto said.

“Twitter,” Geoff said.

“Gawsten,” Jawn said.

“Fine, _fine_ , I know,” Awsten relented, and sat he back against the bench. “But no. I am straight. Maybe like.” He tilted his head again, thinking. “Ninety percent? Like, there's gotta be some wiggle room, right? Everybody's gotta have _some_.” He looked around hopefully.

“I don't know,” Jawn said thoughtfully. “Do you like to wiggle?”

“I do.”

Jawn nodded again. After another pause, he looked at Geoff and blurted out, “So, have you ever, like, _been_ with a dude?”

“ _Jawn_ , oh my god,” Awsten hissed. “You can't just ask people if they've been with _dudes_!”

“Yeah,” Geoff said. He saw Awsten glance at him quickly, surprised, and then his face was back to neutral as he observed Jawn's reaction.

“Huh,” he said. “Cool.” His gazed drifted to the TV. “What are you playing, Otto?”

“Something he's losing,” Awsten said unconcernedly, going back to his phone. Otto fought that, but it was difficult to continue after GAME OVER graced the screen, and when he glanced back over at Geoff and offered to ~~beat his ass at~~ lose valiantly at Mario Kart until they arrived at the venue, Geoff was glad to grab the other controller.

.

The next day, on the road to some-fucking-where, Awsten found Geoff on the bench seat as he scrolled through the music on his phone, trying to decide what to listen to. “Hey,” Geoff said, taking one earbud out. “Sleeping With Sirens or Fall Out Boy? It's been a while since I've listened to either.”

“Whichever one wasn't last,” Awsten said as he sat down and crossed one knee over the other. 

Geoff had expected that; he liked to keep his music library fresh. “I don't remember, actually— it's been that long for both.”

“Traitor.”

“I know.” It was quiet a moment while Geoff decided on Fall Out Boy and scrolled through the albums. 

“Can I ask you about it?” Awsten said suddenly. Geoff looked over at him and he raised his eyebrows. “When you said you'd been with another guy before. Like... will you tell me about it?”

Geoff blinked. He didn't answer right away and Awsten just waited. “Why?” he asked.

Awsten shrugged. “I'm curious.”

That didn't really help. “Why...?” he tried again. 

“I dunno. I kinda... just want to hear about it.”

Geoff glanced down at his shoes as he crossed his ankles, rotating the right one so that it popped a few times.

“Or, behind door number two, I can shut my goddamn mouth forever,” Awsten suggested.

“No, you're... you're fine.” Geoff looked at him and saw that his head was tilted to one side slightly, his gaze focused but not intensely. “I just don't get why you'd care.”

“Me either, but I was just gonna go with it.”

“Oh.” 

Geoff thought about it for a moment, deciding that it was probably fine. He hadn't ever told anyone about it, so maybe this was good. Maybe talking about something that had already happened would help him be okay with talking about wanting it in the future, even in the form of being able to comfortably say to himself, _I'd like to bone another guy at some point, preferably soon_. 

He looked around, checking for other people, but he couldn't see past the corner. “No one else can hear,” Awsten said. “Otto and Jawn are asleep and everyone else is up front.”

“Oh,” Geoff said again. “Well. Um... It was when I was in high school. Senior year. I didn't— we didn't do _everything_ , but... a lot, I guess.”

“Like what?”

“Like...” Maybe it wasn't going to be so bad talking about this. Not with Awsten at least, who was one of the first— only— people he'd felt okay to tell in the first place. “Um... like, we made out for a while... I got, like, up under his shirt and he liked that. We got handsy... like—“ Geoff tried to suppress a nervous laugh. “Do you actually want me to tell you that I sucked his dick?”

Awsten's eyebrows went up a little. “Did you?”

Geoff nodded.

“Did he come?”

“Yeah.”

“Huh.” Awsten tilted his head the other way as he sat back against the bench and considered the blinds pulled down over the window. “Blowjobs are pretty tight,” he said contemplatively. 

Geoff snorted softly. “Yeah.”

“Would you do it again?”

“Uh huh.”

“Hm. I've never thought about— well, _that's_ a lie. I _have_ thought about it. I just don't know if I would ever... y'know.”

“Thought about...?”

“Playing the skin flute,” Awsten said kindly.

Geoff blinked. “Jesus.”

“Right! You like that one? Ahh.” Awsten shook his head, clearly pleased with himself, but then the amused look dropped off his face and he shrugged a little. “I've thought about it,” he said again. Another pause. “I've thought about a lot of shit, actually. Sometimes I really do wish I could choose.”

What the fuck was he talking about?

Awsten seemed to shake himself a little. “So, is that, like... the farthest you went?”

“Yeah.”

“Hm.” Awsten seemed to realize something and sat straight up. “Yo, did he suck your dick back? Like, isn't that fair?”

Geoff snorted hard. “Yeah,” he said. “He did.”

“Dope. Was it weird after that?”

“Like, seeing him at school?”

“Yeah.”

Geoff shrugged, not liking that part. “Yeah. I think we both kind of... freaked out a little.”

“Bummer,” Awsten said sympathetically. “It's cool that you're getting more okay with it, though. Hey— do you think that, at some point, you're going to want to, like, actually date a guy? Have a boyfriend?”

Geoff hesitated, but only for a moment; yes, that was a huge, possibly terrifying thing to consider, but it was also an experience that he would like to have. It was very possible that the person he'd want to love and spend the rest of this life with would be a guy. “Yeah,” he said. “Maybe I'll— I don't know, meet someone.”

Awsten sat up excitedly. “Dude, that's why I was asking— do you know Kyler Krone, he's one of the temp guitar techs?” He leaned over slightly and nudged Geoff's shoulder. “I heard him say you're preeeeetty cute. Which is true, so.” He clicked his tongue and winked. “Get in there, dude.”

Geoff snorted and looked away, embarrassed. “Nah,” he said. “For one thing, I have no idea who that is.”

“Oh, I took a picture of him for you.” Awsten dug out his phone and began searching his photo gallery while Geoff looked at him out of the corner of his eye.

“Why?” he asked.

“I'm _helping_.”

“Oh.”

He was not helping. He was straight and didn't— wouldn't— get it. For another thing, just because this guy had remarked positively on another guy's appearance, that didn't _actually_ mean anything. Awsten himself had just said Geoff was cute, and nothing would ever happen between _them_.

“Here, see? Whaddya think?” Awsten held his phone out.

Geoff barely looked at it. “Yeah. Five stars, I guess.”

Awsten blinked and brought the phone back closer to his face. “Really? Out of... like, what? Twenty? _I'm_ cuter than _this_ dude.”

Geoff winced. “Jesus, I don't know. I didn't really look.” As he expected, Awsten brandished it in his face again, so he tried not to sigh and looked. “Oh, I've seen that guy.” And, come to think of it, he'd heard from someone or other that he was, in fact, gay. “Yeah, he's all right,” he said carefully. “I don't know, though. Like you said earlier, I... yeah. I don't know.”

“That's okay.” Awsten put his phone away and sat quietly for a moment. “It's gonna be tight, dude,” he said then, almost firmly. “Eventually, it's gonna be _fine_ and you'll be able to—“ He stopped and looked annoyed. “I don't want to say _choose_ , that's shitty. I mean, like.” He gestured a bit, still not seeming happy, like he usually was when could easily put things into words. “Like Otto said— more options, right? You'll have, like, a _lot_ of different people that might work out for you. You could pick, like, _anyone_. Y'know how sick that is? Like, _wow_.”

“Not _anyone_.”

“ _Basically_ anyone.”

"Not straight guys,” Geoff said at once, then added, “or lesbians.”

Awsten waved that away. “Then they're missing out. Like... I'm _so_ limited.” He paused. “Y'know?”

He actually looked disappointed for a moment, and Geoff snorted again. “Yeah, well, you don't have to deal with the 'figuring it out' shit and the 'coming out' shit.”

“If all of that didn't usually generate so much _shit_ , no one would have to deal with it,” Awsten pointed out. “That's so fucking stupid. Ugh.” His phone chimed and he looked at it. “Oh, shit. I have to do an interview today. I better go prep.” He cleared his throat and sang _me me me me_ softly.

“Which new song is that?” Geoff asked.

Awsten burst out laughing. “Fuck you! I am gonna write a gay love song for you, though.”

Geoff blinked. “For me?”

“Yeah! Dude, like, there aren't hardly _any_.” He shook his head. “That is not fair. Maybe I'll make _all_ of the songs on the next album gay.” He looked excited again. “They won't be ready for it. We can be a gay boyband.”

“Despite the fact that two-thirds of us are straight?”

“Shh!”

Geoff rolled his eyes. “Just change some of the pronouns on songs we already have. Like, say ' _he's_ my world devastator' in 'Blonde'.”

“ _No_ , I'm writing new ones. Especially to be gay.” He paused. “I might have to have you listen to one, though. To see if it's okay. I might fuck it up.”

“I'm... sure it'll be fine.”

“Hm,” Awsten said softly. Then his phone chimed again and he stood up. “Okay, okay, I _know_ , I'm going,” he said to it as he walked back toward the bunks.

Geoff ended up choosing “G.I.N.A.S.F.S.” That was a good one.


End file.
